AA has meetings all over the world, at all times of the day and night. Often they are held in churches and odd ball office complexes desperate for tenants. Generally, they are "open" meetings, meaning anyone can attend, but not always. The meeting chair will announce what kind of meeting it is when he/she opens the meeting. Usually, the meeting time and place that one attends the most is called their "home meeting."
It is standard for meetings to begin with reading The Steps followed by introductions of attendees. This is where the phrase, "I'm Cat and I'm an alcoholic," comes from. The idea is to embed the notion in the alcoholic that they have a disease, that there is no "cure," and that just because they are sober now, doesn't mean they can go out and do more "research."
What happens after that varies wildly from group to group and is the subject of much debate both historically and contemporarily. There are no dues or fees in AA and there is no leadership. Each group is independent of the others and operates according to the customs of the individuals who comprise that meeting group.
What happens after that varies wildly from group to group and is the subject of much debate both historically and contemporarily. There are no dues or fees in AA and there is no leadership. Each group is independent of the others and operates according to the customs of the individuals who comprise that meeting group.
People end up in meetings for all sorts of reasons, but basically, they have hit their "bottom." Sometimes this is also referred to as booze kicking one's ass. This means that something terrible is happening in the person's life: divorce, legal trouble (DWI's are very common), losing one's job, etc. When someone is new to the meeting, they are called "newcomers" or "newbies." They are often in great emotional pain and mental distress and seek the help of a "sponsor," someone who has been sober for a long time and is willing to befriend the newbie and help them understand the Big Book and work The Steps with them.
Sponsorship is a bit controversial. Most agree that newbies need someone to lead them through The Steps, and that long term, sobriety is the most important issue the alcoholic has to address. However, because newbies are often in such deep doo-doo, the newbie often looks to the sponsor for all manner of help and often expects the sponsor to act as a marriage counselor, mental health worker, social worker, doctor, and lending institution. To be sure, sponsors often do assist their "sponsees" with all or some of these needs, but that is not their primary function and it should not be expected by the newbie. The sponsor's primary function is to walk the newbie through the book and The Steps.
One very common, and totally taboo, relationship is one where the newbie and anyone with more than a year of sobriety, get romantically involved. When someone with some "time" in the program gets involved with a newbie, they are called "13th Steppers."
The 13th Step is strongly frowned upon in the rooms of AA for the obvious reason that newbies lack the spiritual and emotional health to have a functional relationship.
What might not be so obvious are the questionable ethics of the man or woman who has some time in sobriety but still elects to get involved with a newbie. They should know better and steer clear of romance with vulnerable newbies.
The 13th Step is why newbies are encouraged to seek a sponsor of their own gender, but of course that's hetero-normative.
The 13th Step is strongly frowned upon in the rooms of AA for the obvious reason that newbies lack the spiritual and emotional health to have a functional relationship.
What might not be so obvious are the questionable ethics of the man or woman who has some time in sobriety but still elects to get involved with a newbie. They should know better and steer clear of romance with vulnerable newbies.
The 13th Step is why newbies are encouraged to seek a sponsor of their own gender, but of course that's hetero-normative.
AA, by the way, has meetings just for men, just for women, and for LGBTQ if one is not comfortable in a mixed gender or hetero-normative meeting.
AA meeting places usually have a plethora of slogans posted on the walls. I can take them or leave them, but for some they seem to be helpful. There are also celebrations of sobriety "birthdays," the days on which a person gets sober. Newbies love these, and make a big deal of them, more than those with a long time in the program. When someone celebrates a birthday, they are entitled to a sobriety chip or coin.
A lot of coffee and Kleenex is consumed in AA meetings. Newbies are often told to take the cotton out of their ears and stuff it in their mouth because they can be very disruptive to meetings and usually just use the meeting format to dump their troubles on the floor, which is not the purpose of sharing.
When someone talks at a meeting, it is called "a share." The purpose of sharing is to talk about a particular aspect of the Big Book or The Steps. My personal pet peeve is when someone shares a "drunkalogue," basically anecdotes from from their drinking days. "Cross talk," meaning commenting on someone's share after they are finished, is a major no-no, as is interrupting and speaking directly to someone during their share. Walking out during a share (for coffee or to leave) is considered inconsiderate.
When someone talks at a meeting, it is called "a share." The purpose of sharing is to talk about a particular aspect of the Big Book or The Steps. My personal pet peeve is when someone shares a "drunkalogue," basically anecdotes from from their drinking days. "Cross talk," meaning commenting on someone's share after they are finished, is a major no-no, as is interrupting and speaking directly to someone during their share. Walking out during a share (for coffee or to leave) is considered inconsiderate.